


If you knew who I was, maybe you’d be a fan

by CheapLemonIceLolly



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), M/M, Meet-Cute, Pre-Relationship, and renowned NOVELIST Zach Hyman, being infuriating counts as flirting right??, renowned children's author Zach Hyman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 17:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheapLemonIceLolly/pseuds/CheapLemonIceLolly
Summary: Zach doesn’t know why he looks up at the sound of the front door opening, but he does, just in time to see a young blond guy heading out onto the street with a dazzling smile for the cashier and the book he just purchased tucked under his arm.  In and of itself pretty unremarkable for a bookshop, even if the guy is pretty good looking.But Zach's heart leaps, because that’s not just any book he’s carrying.  That’sZach’sbook.  Zach’s own goddamn copy of his book.





	If you knew who I was, maybe you’d be a fan

**Author's Note:**

> There's nothing deep about this one; I saw [this tweet](https://twitter.com/alicej_t/status/1024669566356611073) and nonsense ensued.
> 
> "I put down my copy of my own book at the book launch party, it had my speech notes inside it. Someone picked it up and bought both my book and my notes."
> 
> (the title is from Short Hair by Tiny Little Houses)

Zach’s not usually a self-indulgent person. He doesn’t like to brag about his own achievements or bask in the glory of his successes or whatever; it’s enough just to know you did something and did it well, and move on to bigger and better things.

But as bigger and better things go, making the leap from picture book writer to _novelist_ feels pretty big. He figures he’s entitled to a tiny bit of basking.

He’s actually on his way to his first serious literary festival appearance, which feels honestly surreal. He’s got a copy of his book - his first novel! - under one arm with all the notes for his speech tucked inside the front cover so he won’t lose them, and he’s a little high on caffeine and sleep deprivation because he was up until two writing the thing, but he’s pretty sure it’s the perfect speech. Just the right balance of thoughtful, deep ideas so people remember to take him seriously as a grown up author, and enough jokes to keep things light and interesting.

It’s probably the caffeine and sleep deprivation that have him starting out way too early for the theatre where the talk’s being held. He’s definitely blaming lack of sleep for his impulsiveness when he ducks into a bookshop a few blocks away from his destination, scanning the shelves for his book until he finds it. Six copies on a little endcap display table, along with three other “emerging Canadian voices” who’re appearing at the writers’ festival this week. 

Zach isn’t a giddy person, but that...that’s _pretty fucking cool_. He props his own copy of the book up with the others and takes a few photos, posts them to Instagram right there in the shop, and then heads off for the theatre with an extra spring in his step. If he was the kind of person to whistle while walking down the street, he totally would right now. He might hum a little. Definitely smiles at a few strangers.

He’s halfway down the block before he realises he’s not carrying a book any more.

“Shit,” he says softly, startling a nearby pigeon. He spins around in the street and -- well, he wouldn’t say he _books it_ back to the bookstore, because that’s just silly, but he’s definitely hustling. He’s out of breath by the time he gets there, and Zach’s a fit guy, so that tells you how little time has passed between him leaving his book behind and getting back to the shop. It’s been five minutes, maybe less.

There’s only six books on the display table.

“Shit,” Zach mutters, opening each one to look for his speech notes. “Shit, shit, _shit_.” He picks them up by the spines one at a time and shakes them, hoping desperately that his notes will magically fall out, but to no avail. His book and his speech are _gone_.

“Nah,” someone says over near the counter. “I don’t need a bag. Thanks for the tip, though, I’ll definitely check it out.”

Zach doesn’t know why he looks up at the sound of the front door opening, but he does, just in time to see a young blond guy heading out onto the street with a dazzling smile for the cashier and the book he just purchased tucked under his arm. In and of itself pretty unremarkable for a bookshop, even if the guy is pretty good looking.

But Zach's heart leaps, because that’s not just any book he’s carrying. That’s _Zach’s_ book. Zach’s own goddamn copy of his book.

He leaves the other books tumbled haphazardly on their end table and bolts out of the shop after the book buying guy. Sorry, shop people, but this is an emergency.

“Hey!” Zach calls out. “Hey, excuse me!”

Bookshop guy stops and turns around, and Zach doesn’t do a double take but it’s a very near thing. Bookshop guy isn’t just pretty good looking, he’s unnaturally handsome. Almost too pretty for a guy, with these pink bow-shaped lips and bright blue eyes, but with just enough artful blond stubble on his very square jaw to roughen up the edges a bit, make him less angelic looking and more...well. Hot.

He raises his eyebrows and Zach realise he’s just taking everything in and not saying anything, so he gestures at the book in the guy’s hand.

“Um, that book, you just bought that, right?”

“Yeah,” bookshop guy says, looking down at it. “The girl in the shop said it was a good summer read, local author, all that good stuff. Thought I’d check it out. I think they had more copies in there if you want one.”

“No,” Zach says. “I want that copy.”

No, wait, that came out wrong. Now bookshop guy is looking at him like he’s crazy.

“Sorry,” Zach says, shaking his head. “It’s just...I already had a copy, and I went into the shop with it, but then I left it behind? And what you’ve got there is my book that I left in the shop. I just really need it back, if that’s okay.”

Bookshop guy’s brow furrows slightly, and he stays where he is for a second, giving Zach this slow, considering up and down look. Zach tries to look earnest and trustworthy and not blush or anything under the scrutiny until bookshop guy finally speaks.

“I don’t think so,” he says. “Not today. But I’m flattered, honestly.”

Zach opens his mouth, but...but there’s no reply to that. What? Flattered? What is he talking about? What’s going on?

“Look,” bookshop guy says. “You’re cute, and this is probably the most creative line I’ve ever got, so, like, kudos for that. If I wasn’t in a hurry I’d probably even give you my number. But I _am_ in a hurry, so. Thanks. Bye.”

He turns away and starts walking, and Zach feels his face turning red. “I’m not _hitting_ on you,” he splutters, following after him. “I’m serious, I really need that book back.” Bookshop guy doesn’t stop, but he gives Zach an amused, disbelieving look over his shoulder.

“Okay,” Zach says heavily. “I wasn’t going to do this, but if it’s the only way to convince you I’m for real...I’m the author, and--”

Bookshop guy stops and spins around to face him. “Wow, seriously?” he says. Only it’s not like, _wow, seriously, I’m actually talking to the author of this book I just bought?_ but more like _are you kidding me right now?_ Zach’s face turns, if possible, even redder.

“No, I know that sounds like a line, but…”

“Yeah,” bookshop guy says incredulously. “And not even a good one. It sounds like a line for someone you think is a fucking idiot.”

“I _don’t _,” Zach says, “it’s true. Look at the about the author page, there’s a picture of me in there.”__

__Bookshop guy snorts. “As if I’m falling for that. I know how this goes. I look, and the picture’s some like, middle aged guy in a toupee or something, and then you’re like oh, but you totally _wanted_ it to be true, and then I have to go out with you, right? Clever, but I’m not playing along.”_ _

__“I…” Zach stares at him. “That is literally the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of. Who would do that? That’s ridiculous.”_ _

__“ _You’re_ ridiculous,” bookshop guy shoots back, which doesn’t even make any sense. And what does he mean _some middle aged guy in a toupee_ , anyway? Zach didn’t write a middle-aged-guy-in-a-toupee book, did he?_ _

__“Come on, please,” Zach says desperately. “I’ll get you a new copy. Hell, I’ll get you ten new copies if you want, just--”_ _

__“Why would I want ten copies of the same book?”_ _

__“I don’t know, I’m...I’m kind of desperate here, alright?”_ _

__Bookshop guy snorts. “Yeah, I bet you are.”_ _

__He turns and walks away, holding the book loosely by his side, swinging his arm as he walks. Zach has the brief, wild idea that he could just...grab it right out of his hands and run for it. But bookshop guy looks pretty fit, he might just catch him. And anyway, this is ridiculous, he’s not going to _steal_ a book from a complete stranger in the middle of the street._ _

__As if he’s read Zach’s mind, bookshop guy glances over his shoulder and then brings his arm up so the book’s tucked against his chest. So even if Zach was the criminal type, that plan’s ruined now._ _

__The uncomfortable thing is, it seems like bookshop guy is going in the same direction as he needs to go. Zach could hang back and wait for him to be out of sight so the guy doesn’t think Zach’s following him, but...he checks his phone, and the detour through the bookshop plus this utterly fruitless effort to get his book back have both made him kind of late. He’s got _just_ enough time to get to the theatre before his talk’s due to start._ _

__Oh well. He’s just going to have to push on. Zach looks up ahead and there’s the street he needs to turn down, so at least the awkwardness should be short-lived. Bookshop guy will walk on with Zach’s book and his precious notes, and Zach will turn left and...and improvise something, somehow._ _

__Ugh, he’s really not good at improvised speeches. He’s a _writer_ , not a performer. And his speech was so good, too._ _

__But it doesn’t matter, because apparently bookshop guy is not giving up that book, so Zach just has to suck it up and make do._ _

__Except...except bookshop guy takes the left turn Zach needs to make, a couple of metres ahead of him. Zach hesitates for a second, heart sinking, but it’s not like he has much choice. A quick glance at his phone shows he really doesn’t have time to find a new route. He just has to keep going and hope bookshop guy...doesn’t notice?_ _

__No such luck. He turns the corner and sees a swish of blond hair as bookshop guy glances back over his shoulder._ _

__“You’re following me, now?” he says. “I’m still flattered, but dude, you’ve gotta admit defeat eventually.”_ _

__“Why would you be flattered by someone following you?” Zach says, making a face. Then he flushes again. “Not that I _am_ following you. Look, can we just forget this and, like…” he flaps his hands, shooing bookshop guy ahead. “Go our separate ways or whatever?”_ _

__“I’m trying to go my separate way,” bookshop guy says, smirking infuriatingly. “You’re the one who apparently can’t stand to let me go.”_ _

__Zach wonders what terrible thing he’s done in his life to deserve this. He just stares at bookshop guy for a few seconds, speechless, until bookshop guy sighs and shakes his head. He’s grinning, for some reason. Before he even opens his mouth, Zach already has a bad feeling about what’s about to come out._ _

__“Okay,” he says, holding up both hands. He’s still holding Zach’s book in one of them. “You win.”_ _

__Zach blinks._ _

__“I…I win?”_ _

__“Yep,” says bookshop guy. He tosses his hair out of his eyes; Zach’s annoyed by how he manages to look simultaneously pretentious and yet handsome while doing it, but if he’s going to finally get his book back bookshop guy can be as pretentious and handsome as he likes. “I’m probably going to regret this, but what the hell. I guess I’m just a sucker for a nice face. You got a pen?”_ _

__Zach’s got a sharpie in his pocket in case anyone wants him to sign a copy of his book later, as it happens - if he ever makes it to his talk, that is - but he frowns suspiciously._ _

__“What for?”_ _

__Bookshop guy raises one eyebrow, still grinning like an idiot. “So I can write down my number for you? Obviously?”_ _

__Zach is not the sort of person who loses his temper often. He actively tries not to, in fact. He’s generally of the opinion that laughing things off or smoothing them over is the better course of action, even when someone’s really seriously pissing you off. Getting mad rarely solves anything._ _

__But holy fucking shit, this guy is really, _seriously_ pissing him off._ _

__“What--” he half shouts. “I don’t want your number! I want my fucking book back!”_ _

__Bookshop guy looks completely taken aback, which Zach feels bad about for a split second until he realises he’s not shocked by the outburst, he’s actually offended that a complete stranger doesn’t want his phone number._ _

__“I feel like you’re really committed to this bit,” he says, brow furrowed, “but I don’t get it.” Zach throws his hands up._ _

__“It’s not a _bit_ ,” he says. “I wrote that book, I left my copy at the bookshop by accident, and I need it back. Like I _told_ you already.”_ _

__“I _bought_ this book,” says bookshop guy defensively. “I paid twenty-two ninety-five for it.”_ _

__Zach sighs. “I know you did. And I’m sorry, and I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise. But I just. I really, really need it back.”_ _

__Immediately. He’s meant to be on stage giving the speech that’s currently inside that book in the next fifteen minutes. He resists the urge to jump up and down about it, but it’s not easy._ _

__Bookshop guy looks confused. “So...you’re not trying to ask me out?”_ _

__“Absolutely not,” says Zach emphatically. “Under no circumstances.”_ _

__“Geez, alright, no need to be hurtful.” He narrows his eyes. “What is this, then, some kind of scam?”_ _

__Zach feels like he might cry with frustration. “What...how could this be a scam? What could I possibly get out of this other than exactly what I’m asking you for?”_ _

__“I don’t know,” bookshop guy admits. “But I’m sure there’s something. You go back to the store with my book and get a refund and then, like...steal my identity or something, I don’t know.”_ _

__“That’s not how...anything works,” Zach tells him. “I truly, _honestly_ just want my book. You know what, you don’t even have to give me the book. Just…there’s a folded up bit of paper inside it, open it up, you’ll see. It’s _really_ important. If you’ll just give me that, you can keep the book, I don’t even care.”_ _

__He does what he hopes is a beseeching face, but bookshop guy still looks deeply suspicious. He backs up a couple of steps, shaking his head._ _

__“Nope,” he says. “This is _definitely_ a scam. Why wouldn’t you have just said that in the beginning if that was all you wanted?”_ _

__Zach opens his mouth and then shuts it again, because that’s actually a really good point. Why _didn’t_ he just say that in the beginning? It would’ve been way easier to convince a stranger to give him something _out of_ a book than to give him the entire book._ _

__“I…” he says helplessly. Bookshop guy looks triumphant._ _

__“Ha. See? I’ve got you there.”_ _

__“No you haven’t,” Zach says irritably, even though he totally has. “There’s nothing to get.”_ _

__“Damn right there isn’t,” bookshop guy nods. “Because you’re not getting this book. I don’t know what you’re up to, but you’re definitely up to something, and I have somewhere to be in…” he glances at his watch, “ten minutes, so I’m out of here. Good luck with your scheme, whatever it is,” he adds, giving Zach a cheerful wave._ _

__Zach just stands there, frowning to himself as he watches bookshop guy walk away with his book. _Ten minutes_ to be somewhere, he said. Zach checks his phone. What a weird coincidence, that they’d both be going to different things within a block of one another at the same time, him and the stranger who’s inadvertently ruined his day. Almost uncanny, really._ _

__Unless..._ _

__Zach waits. He watches bookshop guy walk up to the next intersection, and then watches him turn the corner, just like he suspected he was going to. He counts backwards from ten once the guy’s out of sight, just to make sure. And then he follows._ _

__The theatre’s only a little way down the street, and by the time Zach’s rounded the corner bookshop guy is almost on top of it, looking up at the buildings like he’s searching for something. Zach’s certainty deepens, and he picks up the pace a little, not wanting to miss the moment when..._ _

__Bookshop guy stops._ _

__Outside the entrance to the theatre, there’s a banner for the festival sessions that are on today, with little headshot photos of all the authors under the “Emerging Canadian Voices” heading. And there’s Zach, smiling out of the banner, right next to his name and the title of his book, unmistakeable._ _

__Bookshop guy looks at the banner, and then turns his head and watches Zach amble up the sidewalk behind him. His face looks like an emotional tug-of-war, shock, dismay and humiliation all battling for space. He doesn’t even say anything. He just holds the book out to Zach in one hand._ _

__Zach could gloat. He could laugh. He really, really feels like laughing. But he does the kinder, more gracious thing and just smiles._ _

__“Thank you,” he says politely, accepting the book._ _

__He flips open the front cover, just to make sure, and there’s his speech, safely folded up inside the pages. The relief makes him feel a little giddy, so he takes the speech out, closes the book, and hands it back to bookshop guy. He paid $22.95 for it, after all. Zach can always get another copy._ _

__‘I’m Zach, by the way,” he says unnecessarily. Okay, so maybe he’s not totally gracious._ _

__Bookshop guy looks absolutely mortified. “Willy,” he says miserably._ _

__“It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Willy,” Zach beams, nodding towards the book. “You should come get that signed after the talk.”_ _

__The talk goes great. It’s not a huge crowd or anything, but Zach’s speech hits all the right beats, people laugh at the jokes and nod seriously at all his smart insights. People ask interesting questions. It’s basically everything he could want his first public appearance as a grown up novelist for grown up readers to be. If there’s a little extra zing in his delivery because he’s still feeling kind of smug about bookshop guy - Willy - well, he’s only human. Being proven right is satisfying._ _

__There’s not really any kind of formal signing event afterwards, but a few people come up to him after the talk with copies of the book and he signs them gladly. Some of them have copies of his other books, the kids’ ones, and he signs those too. It’s not like he’s not proud of those, but the novel’s such a big endeavour, one that’s occupied him for years. It feels amazing to hold the actual result of all that work in his hands, a real book._ _

__Well, metaphorically speaking, anyway. He’s going to have to get a new copy before he can enjoy that feeling again._ _

__He’s just said his goodbyes to the event staff and is about to head out when he hears a small cough. He turns around and there’s Willy, and Zach must be worked up from the talk going so well because he feels a little breathless for a second. Willy’s eyes are really blue._ _

__“Oh, hi,” he says. “I didn’t realise you were still here.”_ _

__Willy manages a smile, although it looks a lot less certain than any expression Zach’s seen on him so far. A little shy, maybe. It’s oddly endearing._ _

__“Well,” he said. “I was going to get my book signed?”_ _

__“Right,” Zach says. “Sure, here, let me--”_ _

__“But then I was thinking,” Willy continues, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully, “I paid full price for this book. Like, just this morning. And apparently it’s second hand? I mean, does that seem right to you?”_ _

__Zach’s a little taken aback. Like, yes, technically the book wasn’t new when Willy bought it. But it’s not like it’s in crappy condition or anything, Zach takes care of his books._ _

__“Uh, wow, okay,” he says, somewhat stiffly. “Well, I said I’d get you a new copy to replace that one so, that’s fine.”_ _

__“Great,” Willy says. “That’s great, thanks.”_ _

__“I haven’t got one on me right now, though,” Zach says. He has to admit he’s...disappointed? It’s not like he knows the guy or anything, but he thought...well, they got kind of a funny story out of this whole thing, didn’t they? That ought to count for something. Barely an hour ago Willy was calling him cute and trying to give Zach his phone number and now, what, all he wants is a free book?_ _

__Willy tilts his head._ _

__“Oh,” he says neutrally. “So, you’re going to have to get in touch with me later. So we can, like, arrange delivery or whatever.”_ _

__“I mean, yeah,” Zach says. “That’d be helpful.”_ _

__Willy nods and looks down, his hair falling forward into his eyes, and Zach suddenly feels mean. Poor dude. He must be so embarrassed. He probably never wants to see or hear from Zach ever again. Which is honestly kind of a shame, because when he’s not being completely infuriating or weirdly mercenary about books he really is very cute. Zach feels like reaching out and tucking his hair behind his ear, but he resists the temptation._ _

__Then Willy looks up, and he doesn’t look embarrassed at all. He’s _grinning_. Zach finds himself smiling back reflexively, almost in spite of himself, in spite of being...totally confused. Willy does that ridiculous hair flip from before and raises his eyebrows, and somehow even though it’s still inarguably pretentious as fuck, he’s so absurdly handsome that somehow it works for him anyway._ _

__“So I guess you do want my number after all, huh,” he says._ _

__Zach lets out a startled laugh, and his face feels hot, but it’s like, in a fun way this time._ _

__“Yep,” he says, and hands Willy his sharpie. “I very much do.”_ _

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] If you knew who I was, maybe you’d be a fan](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876588) by [Antana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antana/pseuds/Antana)




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